spare me

[serene]

Please, oh great universe that never listens to me anyway,
please-oh-please spare me from people who think it's funny to call people
pussies when they mean "sorry-ass weaklings."

And then get all condescending and pat you on the shoulder while they ask
you what they *should* say, dear.

"Kitty. Would that work? Kitty? How about wuss?"

"Listen. If you mean weakling, say weakling. Don't use misogynistic
language, especially not in the workplace."

Yeesh.

Comments

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Sometime when you do have the energy, I'd like to hear that. At the moment, I disagree, and I respect you more than enough to want to know your answer.

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I have the energy to talk to you about it, but not to Caleb. I have no energy for telling men how they should treat women today. I used it up on my cow-orker.

In short, my insulting a man (if I were the sort to do that, and in general, I'm not) is not as bad as a man insulting me, especially if sexually derogatory terms are used, because my insult does not carry the force of social history and custom.

That social history and custom is that men are more powerful than I, because they're men. I am less important than they, because I'm a woman. And they have the social sanction to turn their insulting language to violence. Their verbal nastiness has threat and fear in it, because the society they live in gives them power over women. When they use "pussy" to mean "weakling" they are not using hyperbole. Women *are* weak(er) in this world we grew up in, and I feel an undercurrent of smug evil in the perpetuation of that mindset, even if it's meant to be a toothless jest.

This may seem like overreaction to some (chiefly, men who think I'm calling them misogynist when I point out that they are unthinkingly perpetuating a hurtful and mysoginistic language tic), but I don't see it as an overreaction (but then I wouldn't, would I?). I see it as a reasonable reaction to a genuine problem that needs addressing.