What a swell party this isn't

[serene]

Scene: party Saturday night, which I only attended in trophy-wife capacity (cute-poet-chick's college friend's birthday)

Montessori Teacher who looks like Garry Shandling and says things like "We traveled through Egypt, and everyone does laundry by hand. Lots of people earn their living doing laundry for others. It's a social thing for women to do it. So if they had washing machines, it would hurt their economy."

Me, after about an hour of ignoring his idiocy and chuckling lightly at his stupid jokes: "So, you have three teenaged daughters? Wow."

Garry Shandling: "Yeah. I'm the only guy in a house full of girls. So I have to keep remembering to think down to their level."

Me: "Um, excuse me. *Down*?"

GS: "You know what I mean. Guys think on one level, and girls on another."

Me: "Oh. And it's *down* a level? *Down*?"

GS: *sputter* "You know what I mean."

Cute-poet-chick, sotto voce: "Doesn't he realize he's sitting at a table with a bunch of women who are bigger than he is?"

Me, to GS: "Hey, that's right. I could totally kick your ass."

Me, to cute-poet-chick: "Here, honey, hold my jacket."

Grrrrrr.

Comments

[slinkr.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. His poor wife. Was she sitting there as he explained how he has to think down to her level?

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

No, she was in another room. I made sure to tell her later, though, that if she heard a story that I had threatened to beat up her husband, it was completely true.

Idiots on Parade......

[patgund.livejournal.com]

Mental note: Find out what Montessori school he teaches at and avoid it.

The words "major jerk" comes to mind. And pretty much stays there.

Re: Idiots on Parade......

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

The school's in Poway, but I don't know the name of it. The guy's a real piece of work. His wife teaches there, too.

Re: Idiots on Parade......

[elynne.livejournal.com]

... it's the thought of that... person being allowed to teach girls that has me wanting to crush his windpipe like Darth Vader. Just imagine. Just sit back... and imagine.

RrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr. *fangs*

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

Good heavens... that's impressive. Wow. *blinks* *blinks more*

I have no idea what to say... I've never run into anything that bad.

[(Anonymous)]

So what did his wife say/look like when you told her the story?

--Magi

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

She just looked confused when I told her that I had threatened to beat her husband up. Everyone else laughed, though, and I imagine someone filled her in later. I felt kind of bad for her, and I have to admit being a little embarrassed at my own behavior, but sometimes I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

. . .sometimes I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut.

Oh, I can't relate one bit. ;)

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

have to admit being a little embarrassed at my own behavior

I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about. You tried to point it out to him, and he just kept digging that hole. Sometimes, you have to forceably remove the shovel :)

How did Cute-Poet-Chick react to how you reacted?

[saoba.livejournal.com]

"Me, to cute-poet-chick: "Here, honey, hold my jacket."


*swoon*

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

*blush*

*pulls up the chaise and puts a cool cloth to Barbara's head*

Are you quite all right, dear?

[saoba.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm fine, really. It's just that swooning gets me chicks. *grin*

[breckan.livejournal.com]

But, but...

Did you enquire the nature of the difference, as he saw it, between how women and men think? bear in mind theres now a phenomenally large body of very thorough and reputable research to suggest that men and women do think differently in some ways, do language differently (tho each can learn the others ways, so its a tendency more than anything else). A man bringing up girls does have to learn to talk differently to them, and may not find it easy. Especially with the age gap too, and teens are a notoriously difficult age to parent.

Sigh... its just me. I dont like jumping to conclusions until Im sure someones a fool, and Ive excluded the other things that might excuse or explain their unexpected words. Thats just me.

But 9 times out of ten, someone who says things like that does need some education.... real education, not the air-head variety. And some respect for others, too. It is highly indicative of some major misunderstandings, what he said.

I just dont like to assume it too easily, until I really know the whole of it, and for that reason (alone) I cant as yet jump on the bandwagon of "how awful/what a jerk". I simply dont know enough, or know him as a person, to be sure what to make of it.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Forgive me if I don't get too worked up about one white man's apologist reaction to another white man's sexism.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I don't see it as a "white man" thing. It's more complex than that. But I do think that, no matter what the guy's reasons are for believing that men and women think differently or whether it's true, his use of the word "down" is a big clue to how he is thinking about how women think.

[joedecker.livejournal.com]

How ironic that you should use racism and sexism in your attack on sexism, not matter how justified the reason for the attack.

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

I think that -- just for starters -- the guy ought to know better than to make an ass of himself at a birthday party by insulting the other people at the table, and that Serene and Cute-poet-chick provided some important feedback/clues for him with fine style and humor. Yes, his remarks do not give anyone the power to read his mind or know how he treats his wife, daughters and female students, but they were appalling in themselves and he should be called on them -- if he said anything like that to a parent or school administrator he might end up losing his job.

So I wondered whether you were anyone I knew, looked at your journal, and saw "Duh! Girls! Dumb questions!" in the latest non-duplicate entry. Seems kind of ironic considering your message above.

[lcohen]

what is there about the phrase "think down to their level" [emphasis mine] that could possibly be interpreted as anything other than insulting? he didn't say "differently" he said "down"--and then he repeated it.

hooei.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

i'm all with you on withholding judgment of a person as a human being unless i have a whole pile of more data.

however, i have no problem dismissing his views on women in an instant, as soon as the words "talk down to them" left his mouth. that's got nothing whatsoever to do with neurological research (of which there isn't, btw, a "phenomenally large" body of reputable research). that's got everything to do with him holding a view of women i view as stupid and uninformed.

but maybe you'd like to explain what all that nifty research has to do with talking down to women.

[schillerium.livejournal.com]

*applause*

You rock, serene...but then, we knew that already :-)

[breckan.livejournal.com]

I agree!

But then I would, wouldnt I? :)

Doesnt mean I roll over and play puppy to her when we differ, though. *snickersmiles back*

But I do respect her too much to let her off without engaging what seems to me the issue, or to overlook slack or poor choice of wording or argument. I know she wouldnt let me off with it, either.

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

Seconded.

Yanno, finding this whole thread that was covered so thoroughly at least once in soc.bi is kind of ironic, isn't it? I mean, since L*rr* K*ssl*r was the one who posted something to soc.bi about LJ in the first place?

Maybe this only amuses me because it's wa-a-a-a-ay past my bedtime.

Feminists

[(Anonymous)]

or "Femi-nazis....?"

Chill out. Sheesh.

Anonymous posters

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

...or cowards?